January 27, 2012
You may remember my original (and slightly more hysterical) post about Lego’s plans for world domination, but for you Pollyanna’s who think conspiracy theories are only for lonely, depraved, fanatical and paranoid people, I’ve got MORE NEWS for you. This @#$! is getting even more seriouser!!
Check this @#$! out!
I already told you about those crazy Danes and their bloodlust. Well, I can see it aaaaaallll coming together now!
First they recruit regular street artists to plant the Lego craze in the subconscious of the public as they’re doing regular street stuff!
Then they have the scientists create remote control (Artificial Intelligence!!!) technology for your “cute little ‘ole I’m-not-doing-anything-but-sitting-here-peacefully Lego toys”. BWAHAHAHA!!!
But is that ALL??? You can bet your soon-to-be-Lego-domintaed-butt it is NOT!!! The casualties are already surfacing. This poor Navy man, so bombarded by Lego propaganda… is now a Lego hoarder. Do you see now what the Danes are doing to our military??? DO YOU SEE IT?!?!
They are also recruiting our kids for mass brainwashing. These young Canucks were brainwashed into thinking they were sending their Lego man into the atmosphere, but he did more than float around with a balloon and capture ariel shots of Earth from near-space. He manipulated your mind with Lego waves. I won’t be surprised if they change the national anthem lyrics: “In beautiful and spacious skies, to Lego wave your brain.” Everyone who is not listening to me will go to Lego Hell! And when you do get brainwashed, the Lego’s will write it down in their LEGO JOURNALS!!! Read the title of the article, big guy. It’s not “A Lego-Compatible Moleskine Journal to PEACE and LOVE!” No, it’s “A Lego-Compatible Moleskine Journal to Devise Secret, Brick-Based Schemes”. SCHEMES!!!! SECRET SCHEMES!!! [see LEGO JOURNALS!!! above]
But whetever. Do what you want. What you DON’T do, is don’t say I didn’t warn you. When the plastic comes down, when the bricks hit the fan, I will be ready and hunkered down in my non-Lego hole, and you will be LEGO TOAST!
(On the other hand, it is okay to own these Lord of the Rings Lego characters. Oh. My. GODDESS!!! Gimli!!!! You must see the Gimli!!!)
Tags: bloodlust, Canadian kids, Danish, Gimli, Guinness Book, Lego Journal, Lego man, Lego man in space, Lego® World Domination... Revisited, Lord of the Rings, near-space, street art, tweets, washed up on beach, World Record
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